Goddamn it, there is no such thing as a bisexual, Matt Holland. But we'll hold off on that theory for the moment. I read your post, and something now came belatedly to mind, a bit of an anecdote. Approximately five months ago (I was working at Waldenbooks at the time, which will prove to be important information later on) my grandmother had a stroke. Nothing serious, just a bit of a jostle, really. To call it a "stroke" is stretching the truth a bit for means of spicing up my story. Moving on, this twitch of her heart sent her on a painful journey down a flight of steps headlong, which resulted in four or five broken bones and a short hospital stay. Slightly distressed the following day at work, I told my manager about my grandmother's depleting heart efficiency in passing, and she displayed an adequate amount of compassion while still maintaining her hard-ass exterior for purposes of class distinction (me, the worker bee, and her, the queen). I should tell you that I had put in my two weeks retirement notice some three days prior. Anyway, two days later (a week or so before my parting with the Waldenbooks company), as luck would have it, I woke nearly three hours late for work, and, as luck would have it, I was to open that day, alone, and be there, alone, for three hours. At about the time I was zipping away from my apartment, my manager was disdainfully unlocking the doors to a Waldenbooks that, for the first time in five years at the very least, had made no money between the hours of 8 AM and 11 AM on a weekday. Needless to say, when I showed up, she was livid. So, concluding that blaming Sony (the makers of my alarm clock at the time) probably would not be beneficial, I feigned tears and told her my grandmother passed away that morning. Of course, she couldn't question this because I had told her of my grandmother's deficient heart just days earlier. In fact, she gave me the succeeding four days off to go back to Denver for the funeral and to congregate with family. There was no funeral, because no one, indeed, had died. Nonetheless, I did go to Denver to have uncomfortable sex with my now ex-girlfriend (if you knew her story, you might say karma has already gotten me back ten-fold). So, there you have it, a little tale I've entitled: How Curt Wallach Beat the System Just by Sacrificing Morals or Who's the Bitch Now, Waldenbooks?

No such thing as a bisexual, Curt? That's right. I was forced into explaining this last night to a "bisexual" female by the name of, well, we'll call her Diane. Diane Hemming. I have never met a bisexual who does not prefer either the dick or vagina, respectively. And she was no exception. In her case, it's the vagina. However, she is a lesbian who will, at times, settle for the dick. No one, and I mean no one, has no preference. We're talking chocolate and vanilla ice cream here, people. If a man who extremely enjoys fucking his best friend, a rough trick named Bill, also thinks it's kind of fun fucking his next door neighbor Jennifer, he's not bisexual. He's gay, gay but fucking Jennifer because he fails to have a man around to fuck while fucking Jennifer. I don't know why I felt compelled to share this. I just hate people who say they're bisexual. It's like trying to one-up the increasingly chic gay population. Also, though it pains me to say this, I do not think there are lipstick lesbians. However, if you'd like to argue that last point with me, and if you live in the Denver metro area, call 303-744-7586, and Diane Hemming, you and I will discuss it over some wine and pornography. Maybe we'll work into a three-way.

Vote Edwards. Actually, vote anyone other than Bush.

PS -- I'd like to apologize to Matt if my story irked him in any way. I lack pretty much any sort of feeling, though I am sorry to hear of your grandmother and I hope life finds you quite happy quite soon.
- posted by jewishcurt @ 4:49 PM  

 
Well what a shitty and trying past few weeks. My whole family is pretty down, but it was inevitable. Just a matter of time. On Saturday my Nanna (grandmother) died. She'd had an operation to remove a brain tumour (which turned out to be cancerous, one of the worst kind) a fews earlier. It's such a fucken pain when lovely people die from disease. I can't remember I time when I ever didn't a smile on her face. She was doing really good for a week or so after the op...but then she just went downhill all of a sudden. Anyways I thought I might 'vent' myself here. Apologees if you don't think it is appropriate.

I was talking to a colleague of mine who also had a grandmother die from tumours. He said that his grandmother could not talk or move, but 2 hours before she died she sat up and said "grandad is here". Grandad being what she called her husband, as their grandchildren did. Which was kind of weird in a sense. My nanna couldn't move much (only one arm) and couldn't talk either and was like that in hospital for 2 weeks. Just lying there like a fucking vegetable. No way to live if you ask me. The thing that I found weird is that she stayed alive until everyone (being relatives and close friends) visited her atleast once in the hospital. Like, you must know when you are dying eh? And I was talking to a few hospital staff who said that they've known alot of dying people to "hang on" until they've seen everyone. So yeah....I'm just glad she'd went peacefully in her sleep.

Anyways, the funeral is tomorrow. That should suck to say the least. It will be the first funeral I've ever been to.. so that will be interesting. If you've read this, thanks for listening. =)
- posted by stealth @ 2:42 AM  

 
Hi people. So, this website has moved servers. Which is nice in my opinion. No more haggling with poopy bandwidth. If you find anything missing or are getting errors, don't be afraid to email me and let me know. Otherwise, I may never find out(Bastards).

Anyway, I spoke to a friend that was recently in a fairly bad car accident. He is alright and everything, but the car is trash. Turns out a kid that owed me quite a few decent sized dollars was also in the car. He got a bit mangled. Nothing serious from what I've been told, but nonetheless hospitalized for a while. Few internal problems and lots of bumps and bruises. I never wish bad stuff to happen to people I guess, but this dude basically deserves it. I, of course, will not mention any names. However, anyone who knows me and reads this will know who it is. Ha! Anyway, I have some pictures taken of the car after the accident. You can click here to see them if you'd like. And they are always available via the "Images" section of this site.

Thanks for visiting. Hopefully I start getting some hits soon. This is poo-poo. \o/
- posted by Janky Jay III @ 8:22 PM