Funny $bash commands.
These I thought where fairly comical. I wasn't sure where I found them becuase
it was so long ago. But don't worry, whoever made them won't go unappreciated..
When I find them, I'll toss in a link.
- % make fire
Make: Don't know how to make fire. Stop.
- % why not?
No match.
- % gotta light?
No match.
- % !1984
1984: Event not found. # (on some systems)
- % How's my lovemaking?
Unmatched '.
- % "How would you rate Bush's incompetence?
Unmatched ".
- % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].
- % [Where is my brain?
Missing ].
- % ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.
- % ^How did the sex change operation go?
Bad substitute.
- % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.
- % man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
- % %blow
%blow: No such job.
- % \(-
(-: Command not found.
- % sh
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!
- $ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create
- % cd /tmp
% touch this; chmod 000 this
% ln -s /usr/bin/touch U
% U this
U: cannot touch this: no write permission
- % rm meese-ethics
rm: meese-ethics nonexistent
- % cd ~god
Unknown user: god.
- % ar m God
ar: God does not exist
- % make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
- % sleep with me
bad character
- % ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
- % drink bottle
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found
- % alias alias alias
alias: Too dangerous to alias that.
- % cat catfood
cat: cannot open catfood
- % cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans
- % nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.
- % man p***y
No manual entry for p***y.
- % rm God
rm: God nonexistent
- % ar r God
ar: creating God
- % Unmatched ".
Unmatched ".
- % write desert
desert is not logged on.
- % man you
No manual entry for you.
- % !bluemoon
bluemoon: Event not found.
- % scan for <<"Arnold Schwarzenegger"^J^D
"Arnold Schwarzenegger": << terminator not found
- % cat 'the can of tuna'
cat: cannot open the can of tuna
- % rm Quayle-brains
rm: Quayle-brains nonexistent
- % cat "door: paws too slippery"
cat: cannot open door: paws too slippery
- % look into "my eyes"
look: cannot open my eyes
- % lost
lost: not found
- % make war
Make: Don't know how to make war. Stop.
- % mkdir yellow_pages; cat > yellow_pages
yellow_pages: Is a directory
- %touch me
%chmod 000 me
%touch me
touch: cannot touch me: permission denied
- % ar x "my love life"
ar: my love life does not exist
- % ar x "matey, the treasure"
ar: matey, the tresure does not exist
- % talk Gorvachev@Kremlin
talk: Kremlin: Can't figure out network address.
- % talk Comrade Khruchev
[Your party is not logged on]
- % make "bottle open"
make: don't know how to make bottle open. Stop
- % make "heads or tails of all this"
make: don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop
- % make love
make: don't know how to make love.
- % make mistake
make: don't know how to make mistake. Stop
- % make sense
make: don't know how to make sense. Stop
- % man woman
No manual entry for woman
- % echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln256%Pln256/snlbx]sb3135071790101768542287578439snlbxq'|dc
GET A LIFE!
- % ping elvis.rice.edu | awk '{print substr($1,1,5), $2, $3}'
elvis is alive
- % finger body-of-christ@bread-jar.mass
Unknown host
- % finger huge-keg-party@big-house
Unknown host
- % make ' ' bang ' ' with gun
make: Fatal error: Don't know how to make target ` '
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